Relationships
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  • CHANGE: IT’S JUST LIKE RIDING A BIKE

    “You need to change. Now!”

    That’s the world we live in. We want everything now, now now. When it comes to our relationships and unhealthy behaviors, the day we decide to make changes whether through self-motivation or at the request of a someone else, that’s typically the day we (or they) want them to happen. In many cases, there is no margin for error or regression. You either get it together right NOW, or you go. Continue Reading

  • Relationships 101: When One Partner Gets Mean

    Edie Brickell’s I Get Mean. 

    Does this look and sound familiar?

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    February 9, 2015 • Relationships • Views: 1161

  • The Pointlessness of the Argument.

    “Avoid arguments as you would rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”
    – Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

    I love this book. It’s as relevant today as the day it was published (in 1936). I recommend it to everyone I can. Particularly the chapter entitled: “You Can’t Win an Argument.”

    Carnegie’s basic idea is that in most (if not all) arguments, there can be no winner. That even if you win, you have somehow lost.

    There are only two potential outcomes to any argument: Continue Reading

    September 22, 2014 • Relationships • Views: 1323

  • Relationships 101: When One Person Gets Sober and the Other Does Not

    There’s nothing unusual about the consumption of alcohol on a first date. Let’s face it, this can be an extremely unnerving experience and a shared bottle of wine or a couple of martini’s can be just the elixir that will get you through those first date jitters. It can help you to lower your guard and move quickly past that initial nervousness and neurosis (to say nothing of what it can do to jump-start sexual intimacy).  Where it needs to be of concern is if and when alcohol and/or drugs become one of your common interests and one of the very fun things the two of you bond over.   Continue Reading

    September 12, 2014 • Addiction, Relationships, Therapy Through Movies • Views: 1902

  • We Never Fight

    Do you have a married couple within your social circle who makes the claim that they never fight? That they are able to co-exist without so much as a disagreement whether as significant as where to send their kids to school or insignificant as why you left the top off the toothpaste —  again?

    Have you come across these people? The one’s who can sit there with a very straight face and tell you that they never argue. Ever.

    You know what I say to them?

    “Go fuck yourselves.” Continue Reading

    August 13, 2014 • Relationships • Views: 1465

  • High Fidelity: The Illusion of the Perfect Companion

    Have you seen this movie HIGH FIDELITY? Released in 2000, based on the book of same name by Nick Hornby, it stars John Cusack, Tim Robbins, Joan Cusack, Sara Gilbert and Jack Black in one of his earliest roles. There’s some really great stuff to take away from this film in terms of struggles connected with relationship commitment, dating, and the quest to find the perfect woman.

    When the film begins, Cusack is a veritable man-child, in the throes of a breakup from his former long-term, live-in girlfriend. She’s an up and coming lawyer and had been relegated to being the parent in their relationship. There’s nothing groundbreaking in terms of how and why they split up. When push comes to shove, it’s his fear of commitment that prohibits him from going “all in” where this relationship is concerned. In typical romantic comedy fashion, it’s a point that he unfortunately doesn’t pick up on until it’s too late and she’s moved on to greener pastures.

    Cusack becomes desperate to understand why every relationship he’s been in has ended in break-up with each girlfriend ultimately leaving him for a relationship upgrade of sorts.  He is finally forced to deal with his own responsibility in the demise of his relationships due to his not being able to understand that what he’s been struggling to find simply does not exist.

    The reality most men (and some women too) very often don’t figure out until it’s too late is that despite the fact that someone like Kate Upton might seem like the perfect woman, when all is said and done, she too has blemishes on her skin, odors permeating from her body and moods that can most likely change with the wind (like all of us). That what he’s been yearning for is an illusion.  It simply does not exist. Sound familiar?

    Check it out. If you haven’t seen it, it will become one of those movies you can watch any time it comes on (like most of Cusack’s movies).

    High Fidelity Traier

    High Fidelity on IMDB

    July 15, 2014 • Relationships, Therapy Through Movies • Views: 1176